Wednesday, June 21, 2006

dear parents of children on airplanes

Please, for the love of sweet fucking
jesus on a pogo stick: don't let your kids run up and down the aisle of
an airplane for the entire fucking flight. Especially when the vast
majority of the passengers have asked you to get them under control,
and have even asked them directly to settle down just a little bit.

See, while you may be totally cool with your kid treating the world
like it's their playground, some of us would like to grab a nap, or do
some writing, or play some Hot Shots Golf on our PSP while we fly. Yes,
I know it's a crazy concept to accept, but not everyone thinks it's
just so adorable that your little hellion is having such a great time.

Oh, and  once you get them to sit down? Yeah, it would just be awesome
if you could convince them that slamming the tray up and down, kicking
the seat in front of them (let's just say, for the sake of making this
personal, that I'm sitting in it and trying really hard to be patient)
and shouting about Dora the fuckin' explorer at the top of their lungs
is pretty much the opposite of acceptable behavior on an airplane. Or,
now that I think of it, any-fucking-where that's not your house or a
Chuck E. Cheese's.

Have a nice flight,



Blogger KFarmer said...

I've found duct taping the little warts to the bathroom seat is very effective. You just have to remember to let them go before they dissolve. Just kidding... ;)

2:59 AM  
Blogger Katrina said...

Wow. I've been flying since I was about 3 months old, and alone since I was 8 or 9. What ever happened to instilling FEAR of behavior consequences into kids?
when I rode on planes by myself at 9, it was a SUPER huge deal for me to press the button to ask the steward for a glass of water or to get up to go to the bathroom, let alone run up and down the aisles...

Then again, these were the days when airlines were friendly. The captain led the entire plane in a rendition of "Happy Birthday" when I flew from o'hare to san diego alone on my 13th bday...

8:36 AM  
Blogger Naila J. said...

It was probably also a time when parents actually raised their kids instead of sitting them in front of the TV and hoping they didn't kill themselves with a random plastic bag.

9:31 PM  
Blogger wayne said...

This isn't only a problem on airplanes. Ever ride a bus cross-country? The only thing that makes it slightly better is that the driver is not isolated from the passengers. Eventually the little s#!t is gonna piss him off and mommy is gonna have to rein the bastard in or be dropped off in the middle of God-knows-where.

8:51 PM  

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