the collective
Perhaps it is only our own arrogance that somehow convinces us that there is a massive panel of judgers and watchers out there, examining each move we make, charting it and comparing it to where (we think) they think we should be, and ultimately shaking their heads in disapproval. It is foolhardy to waste energy second-guessing our decisions as if the rest of the world has time to worry about us instead of themselves; as if there is a collective measure of our own achievements that matters or exists; as if any of the scrutiny we imagine to be focused upon us isn't projected onto our unsuspecting friends by ourselves.
2 Comments:
Maybe not a panel of unknowns.... but theres always the feeling of the known judges. When you move out from home, proving to your parents you are a capable adult. When you get married, proving to your in laws that you are an adequate spouse. When you have kids, proving to any niny with a comment that you are a good parent.
While some of it is unfounded, some may still be based in reality (you should meet my inlaws...). And if nothing else, it makes us strive to be a better person.
I think maybe more than a panel of unknowns, you are being judged by yourself, and guilt plays a big part into it. It's the feelings that come from within that serve as the judge in everything we do. And it's the feelings and emotional responses we show that judges what our friends do.
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