Tuesday, May 23, 2006

longview

Man, I am so unmotivated, it's crazy.

I don't feel down, I don't feel overwhelmed, I don't feel unhappy or anything like that (all reasons I've felt unmotivated in the past) . . . I just feel unmotivated. I look outside, and it's so beautiful, all I want to do is put on my iPod and take long walks so my mind can drift and grab a few creative and interesting ideas and run with them.

I must be experiencing some sort of pre-midlife crisis, because I've recently felt like there isn't enough time to do the things I want and need to do, and now all I want to do is get out of the house, get away from computers and TV and technology (except for my iPod, of course) and climb up the metaphorical mountain.

I think I'm going to try an experiment this week: I'll get up and do all my writing work for SGNews and CardSquad (which has eaten my last two fucking posts and really pissed me off) before 10. Then I'll write for my blog a little bit, but only if I have a good narrative non-fiction story to tell. I'll aim to be finished up by noon, and I'll spend the rest of the afternoon out of the house (or at least away from the Internets) observing the world and collecting inspiration and living my goddamn life for a change.

At the least, I should get some interesting things to write about; at the most, I should be able to unclog my brains and figure out if I'm really on the verge of some kind of massive crisis.

6 Comments:

Blogger Eliz said...

good luck with the unclogging! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Also - I really enjoyed the chapbook!

3:44 PM  
Blogger Dom said...

I used to find that making a to-do list of work I needed to get done the night before helped me. But then I found I was having to add "update to-do list" to my to-do list, and things kinda went downhill from there.

I'm starting to think drugs may be the answer. If they don't give me the energy to get stuff done, I won't care about it anyway. Yes. Drugs are definitely the way to go.

5:24 AM  
Blogger Todd said...

same here, i've been struck by this giant wave of freakin' apathy the last few weeks. Not depressed, I just don't care about the 9-5 zombie culture we're part of and don't want anything to do with it. We have too many responsibilities.

10:20 AM  
Blogger leathej1 said...

Stop. Listen. Have you considered that "not motivated" is exactly what you ought to be at this moment?

In TCM and Shiatsu, I would qualify this as excess usage of the Liver Meridian, which governs Planning and Creativity. Aside from fatigue, you might also experience anger, irritability, frustration, resentment, jealousy, rage, and depression. I'm not talking about just in general - I mean, you might feel these things for no good reason.

I have no doubt that once you realize that your emotional state and energy levels are within your control, you will seek out more information about this. Maybe you will see a Shiatsu practitioner (a real one - not the Vietnamese guy in the mall), maybe take up yoga, or maybe you will just find the semblence of mind to balance your life more effectively.

12:37 PM  
Blogger Dom said...

...or you could just take drugs...

6:48 PM  
Blogger wayne said...

Spring fever. It'll pass.

Go out and take a walk in the sunshine.

6:38 AM  

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